i had a miserable couple of days, and it was completely self-induced. ok, maybe it wasn't miserable, really i'm just being dramatic, but i did spend a few days needlessly worrying about things in my life, with that tight, shallow-breathed, panicky feeling in my chest.
i realized how ridiculous it was when i was working on this drawing, and ryan (my fiancé) got home and walked into my studio room. i immediately started whining about the same old crap i always whine about, and he looked down at the drawing to see what i was doing. i looked down, too, paused for a minute, looked back up, and said: "it doesn't have to be this way, does it?" he smiled and said "nope. it sure doesn't."
doh!
why is it so easy to forget that i get to choose what thoughts are in my brain? my ego likes to trick me and tell me it's not up to me. and it's easy to listen to the ego, because it's hard (and sometimes scary) to take responsibility for each and every thought and feeling. but if i want to be happier and live a gorgeous life, who is that up to? ME. no one else.
i hope you all have a beautiful weekend, and i will see you here on monday!
xoxo
{ps- get those submissions in!}
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ryan is the best ... you should marry him! oh wait, you already are ;). i get like that too sometimes. i make myself so sad and say things like 'you're making me worry'. not true, i am.
ReplyDeleteit's interesting you created that drawing while you were wallowing. your inner voice simply jumped out of you. it's a great message and so true. thanks for the reminder. have a very nice weekend!
we get caught up in our tangle and we can't see out of it. that's why it helps to have the outside perspective. and it's so much easier to know what you should do than to actually do it.
ReplyDeletei much prefer straightening out other people's lives to straightening out my own. ;)
how funny, jess, we must have been experiencing similar states of mind today...thanks for this and hope your weekend is beautiful, too :)
ReplyDeleteJess, I feel you. There are some days which are really hard. I'm glad you remembered you can dig yourself out of your bad mood. Have a beautiful weekend.
ReplyDeleteWhile I believe in "choosing happiness", I think some of everyone's artistic inspiration comes from a WIIIIIDE spectrum of emotions - many times from the far edges of the spectrums. So, don't kick yourself too hard for feeling down in the dumps. You got one helluva painting out of it! :)
ReplyDeletewow... we seem to have visited the same place together... i'm sure we must have passed in the hallway... i too have been in the muck (more like for a week... or a little more than that)...
ReplyDeletei too love the piece that came from it though...and also agree about the bit about not beating yourself up about it... i'm pretty hard on myself... so, i'm sending some hugs your way :)
xo
True Jess, but when we are going through shit in our head is when it is TOUGHEST to break out of it. BIG HUG for this post & this drawing. I'm in the middle of making some designs & will send it across sooon!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Jess,
ReplyDeleteSomething that works for me, because we know these states of mind will keep coming back :), is to treat my ego like a small child. I recognize that it can be impetuous, sometimes 'tantrumy,' manipulative.....but I can still love it and know that the way it acts is to teach me something. So when it gets going, as it does many times a day, I say out loud to it/her/him, "You're so funny." It really helps to diffuse whatever grip it has on me. I then redirect my attention and I will often say aloud, "You're so funny, but right now we're going to do this instead." I might write down a few things that I love about my life, or think of my husband, something he said to me that was sweet, or go sit outside and be still for awhile. Anyway, I'm going on and on- I think it's powerful that you shared. Thank you.
Alma
such a scary thing when we realize that the power is ours to manage our moods - especially when we're in no mood to think about changing it! it takes some serious mind strength to break through and redirect our energies. way to go jess!
ReplyDelete